Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
