she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
