I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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