The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
