There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
