and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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