Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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