she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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