my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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