On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
