you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
there is glitter all over my balls
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