Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
