in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
