I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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