Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
