Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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