if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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