How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
