Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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