speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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