Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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