I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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