To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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