He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
