i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
