why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize