What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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