I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
