So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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