Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
