Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
