We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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