Do you still have your period?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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