Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
