Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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