I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
