Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it's like iHOP with fire
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
