That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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