12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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