she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
