the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
