well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
A+ Viking dick
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
