I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
