Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
