I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
