My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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