you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
