so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
