How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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