that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
